Tuesday, April 21, 2009
This is my mom's cow, Norman:
Norman is a big cow. Norman thinks he is a dog. He runs and plays with the other dogs, often chases my pestering husband, and sneaks up behind my mom and butts her in the back. He is a very ornery cow-dog. We were at my mom's the Saturday before Easter and the daughter went up to Norman by herself to pet him. As soon as she turned around to walk off, Norman started running at her and trying to butt her. I was too far away from her to save her so I just screamed at Norman (like he's a dog) to stop. This of course scared the daylights out of the daughter who was completely oblivious to the fact that she was about to be trampled. Luckily, Norman was distracted by a nearby and willing-to-play dog and thus the daughter was salvaged of a good stomping. We all had a good laugh once the daughter was safe and we all shat ourselves.
I went to the doctor last Wednesday. I sat in the waiting room for about 75 minutes, which is becoming the norm, and spent around 5 minutes in the actual doctor's office. It was just a routine checkup...weight, urine, blood pressure, fetal heartbeat, height of the fundus, oh and more sample prenatals, since all I've tried so far make me a tad bit queasy and I'm totally high-maintenance this time around and refuse to be bothered with any slight queasiness. I've gained 10 pounds so far. All is looking good except for the fact that I'm completely convinced it's gonna be a 12-pounder.
I have a really annoying neighbor boy who just turned 18 and thus was finally allowed (by his equally annoying parents) to get his license. This kid is the biggest dork I've ever met but my husband and I reluctantly make every effort to be nice to him. The first time I ever met him I would have bet my house that he was 12. The daughter refers to him as her friend, this is the maturity level we're talking about here. Anyhoo, I was sitting at a four-way stop yesterday after work and noticed him sitting across the way. He totally laid on his horn and flapped his long dorky arm out of his window so that everyone else at the four-way saw him waving and obviously knowing me. I really thought I was too old to feel like the nerdy kid at school that the dorky kid just waved at.
Tuesday, April 7, 2009
I guess I'll begin with something we're all familiar with. Remember the husband and the armpit and the staph infection? Well, it's baaaaack! Actually, it's back for the fourth time. A couple of months ago the tip of his nose became really sore and red and swollen. He finally decided to go to the doctor only to find out through swabs and blood cultures that it was indeed MRSA staph. Yea. So he was on antibiotics for about three weeks and putting antibiotic ointment on it several times a day. It finally healed up and his last culture came back negative. Until today, anyway. He mentioned this morning that it has become sore again, so I immediately called his doctor and made him an appointment for this afternoon. We went and they did another swab and expect the results back Thursday. If it is indeed MRSA again, then they will obviously start him on antibiotics again and then refer him to an Infectious Disease Specialist in OKC. It would be nice to know exactly what is causing this and why it keeps coming back. (On a side note, the nurse actually told us that people typically get staph in their noses and in their butts. This sent me into giggles as all I could picture was someone sticking their nose up someone's ass.)
Sooooo, I'm pregnant. No big shocker, I know. I'm pretty sure I've spoken to every person that actually (and only occasionally) reads this thing. I'm due October 2nd which is kinda surprising considering I swore I'd never spend another summer pregnant. Oh well. All is going well so far. We went in for our early ultrasound at 11 1/2 weeks, so that was nice to get a peak at the little peanut. I was very excited about that, because other than an extremely overactive appetite, I've had no other symptoms. I even forgot and doubted at times that I was really pregnant. Hearing the heartbeat was great as well. Everything really is going well, but does this look normal for 14 weeks???
The daughter is good. The other day we were out at the in-laws and she was pointing her finger at one of the dogs as she scolded it. I was watching from afar and I noticed she quit talking, stared at her finger for a minute and then looked up at the sky. She came running over to me and showed me where a bird had actually pooped on her finger! I thought that was sooooo funny! She is growing like a weed and really excited about the baby. She likes to kiss my belly and tell the baby good morning and good night. The pregnancy has already affected her some. The other day I asked her if I could rock her while she watched TV and she agreed. But after only a few seconds she hopped down and told me she is too big and that I could rock the baby. That made me really sad! She has also been a REAL Nana's girl lately. As soon as she wakes up in the morning she's asking for her and she almost always cries when we go to pick her up from her house. She stayed the night with her last night and spent all day with her today. She was home for about ten minutes before she started asking for her Nana. I'm glad she loves her Nana and wants to spend a lot of time with her, but it really can be disheartening sometimes. I still want her to be a mama's girl!
Well, I've said my piece for now. It's almost bath and story and bed time! I'm glad you got to hear from me!
Monday, November 24, 2008
First of all, in an attempt to house break the dog, we began scolding her for pooping in the house. We would discipline her immediately after release, scold her, and put her outside. We thought this would teach her that she is not supposed to poop in the house. Apparently, it taught her that she should not poop, thus she began eating her poop in an attempt to hide it. This is especially discusting when you have a 2-year old that enjoys being licked by said dog.
Second, the dog absolutely refuses to go out into the yard without me. Thus, I follow the dog out into the yard about five times a day, and stand there between ten and fifteen minutes while she normally sits and stares at me, only to pee on my rug in the first fifteen seconds of returning to the house.
When I do get mad at the dog and put her outside to think about what she's done, she just digs out of the yard and explores the neighborhood and it's houses. When I put her in her kennel to think about what she's done, she cries at the top of her little lungs, nonstop.
Because the said dog does not stop crying when in her kennel, she sleeps with us. She is not capable of getting herself onto the bed. Thus, I put her in bed, she hops down and goes exploring and chewing, and comes back only to wake me to put her back on the bed. Over and over and over again.
Last Saturday night I awoke to something wet hitting me in the face. Once I actually woke up I realized I had heard her throwing up. Once that registered, I realized she was shaking her head and it was actually vomit hitting me in the face. Can this story get any nastier??? Once I vomited myself, I turned on the light only to discover the dog was actually vomiting poop. Six hours later, the dog was on her way to her new home.
Her new owner has been kind enough to keep me updated on her progress through pictures. I'd say she's liking her new home:
Saturday, October 25, 2008
I tried to take a picture of my freezer but every time I open the door crap falls out all over the floor. The pictures just don't do justice once half the crap is gone.
Oh, and see the daughter’s new dog?
That's Lola. She's a shitzu. And even better than that? She's a rescued shitzu. I feel warm and fuzzy.
Oh, and the daughter had to get in on the pictures:
She's pretty ornery.
And in case you're wondering how I'll be spending my weekend:
I love Halloween. Now if I could just find some brownies.
Wednesday, October 15, 2008
I have been on five interviews in two weeks. I have filled out more applications than I care to count. I have pasted on more fake smiles than I care to admit. I remain unemployed.
Here's a summary of my recent luck:
Last Monday I went to fill out an application at a local nursing home for an Admissions Clerk. Upon arriving, I was informed that I would be interviewed on the spot. I'm not one for surprises so I was not very happy with this news. I did the interview anyway, but I'm not so sure my fake smile and "Yes, I wanna work in a nursing home" attitude were believable. I was kinda up for it until the interviewer told me I would get one week vacation after one year, and two weeks only after five years. And, I would only be given four paid holidays all year--Christmas Day, New Year's Day, Thanksgiving Day, and July 4th. Seriously???
Wednesday I had two interviews scheduled. One with a small loan company and one with a home health care agency. That morning I called and canceled the interview with the small loan company. I realized when I had to wade through a cloud of cigarette smoke to get to the manager's desk that I didn't want to work there. I accepted the interview anyway, mostly just for practice, as I am HORRIBLE at interviews. But then, knowing the type of personality I have, I would either feel like a loser if I didn't get the job, or I would reject any job offer that was extended. So, I just decided to nip it in the bud.
Not five minutes later, I got a call from the health care agency. The nice lady stated that, because the lady that was going to interview me was out with sick kids, we would have to reschedule. The next available time was for next Monday! Gees, I was hoping to start work next Monday!!! Of course, I accepted the interview for 2:00 p.m.
Nothing much else happened Thursday, and then Friday I got a call from a small non-profit here in town. I had applied for an administrative assistant position and they were calling to set up an interview. She asked if I could come in at 1:20 on Monday. I explained to her that I already had an appointment scheduled for 2:00 and asked her if we could do it any earlier or even later in the afternoon. She told me 1:20 was the only opening that they had, but if I arrived around 1:00 we could probably get started early. She told me she would make a note on my application that I had a 2:00 appointment.
I showed up at the interview at 1:00 p.m. They called me back at 1:25 p.m. We spent around 15-20 minutes asking and answering questions. At around 1:45 p.m. they decided to put me on the computer and test my skills. They had me type up a letter in Word and then they decided they wanted me to create a spreadsheet in Excel. I reminded them twice of my 2:00 appointment. They continued to argue over what exactly it was that they wanted me to do. They left the room to retrieve a chart. They returned at 1:54 p.m., just as I was gathering my things to leave. They were completely shocked that I was actually leaving the interview. Again, I explained the situation, reminded them of the phone conversation when scheduling the interview, apologized too many times, and offered to come back after my other appointment and finish the interview. (In case you're wondering, yes, I wanted the second job much more than the first one. The second one pays 33% more than the first and offers better benefits and the opportunity for advancement.) They were obviously peeved and told me they would call me if they needed me to come back. Whatev.
So I hauled ass across town only to arrive at my 2:00 interview at 2:03 p.m. Dammit. She called me right back and after about 3 minutes of talking, she told me that the position really required someone with previous healthcare experience. But, of course, she will hold on to my resume and call me if something else comes up. Dammit.
So, I got online and applied for a position at DHS. My application was immediately accepted but the second step is to go to the city and take the State Merit test. I spoke with my friend who works for DHS and has for nearly 20 years. She assured me that the test is common sense and really just a type of personality test.
I'm here to tell you things change. There were six parts to the test. None of them had to do with my personality. They were:
Oral Communication Skills
Written Communication Skills
Something Else I Can't Quite Remember
Knowledge of Legal Terminology
My scores were, in order: 70, 77, 100, 80, 70, 45. My final score was a 73. I cried.
Okay, so I passed. But, the next step of the hiring process is that the hiring agency gathers the scores from all applicants and calls in the top 10 scores for interviews. I am not very hopeful.
I am so mad that I was not better prepared for the test. Although, I'm certain I could have been, seeing as how so many of the questions were job related. I clearly have not been trained for the job and I clearly do not have experience in the position, so I'm a little puzzled as how I would have known the answers to some of the questions.
One question that I remember some-what clearly was in the oral communication skills section. It read something like:
Someone that you do not know calls you asking for specific information regarding a case. She refers to herself as a concerned family member. You handle her call by:
a.) Taking down her name and phone number, calling the person the case is directly related to and getting permission to give the information to the caller, and calling him back to reveal the information.
b.) Giving the caller the information, but requesting that the not tell anyone.
c.) Telling the caller that it is against policy to reveal the information to persons not directly related to the case.
d.) Setting up an appointment for the caller to come in and discuss the case.
Now, I obviously chose "c", but my point is, I am not aware of agency policies, as I have never worked for the agency. Many, if not most of, the questions were written in this way. There were 'actual' court papers there to look at and answer related questions. I don't know. I guess it's just not what I expected. And once I started the test and realized I was totally unprepared, all I could think about was how I was totally bombing it. I really could not concentrate. And the real kicker is that I cannot retake it for six months.
Soooo, here I sit, exactly two weeks without work, with ZERO leads. This is depressing. Time for more brownies.
Wednesday, October 8, 2008
The phone rang and I answered it in my fake, cheesy voice (as I had to actually practice during my interview) (that should have been a sign). The call, surprise-surprise, was for Richard. I explained to the gentleman on the phone (Mr. Medford, an eighty-something-year-old Chief from a tiny town up north) that Richard was on another line, and asked him if he would like to hold for a moment. He said he would hold, that he had nothing better to do. After we have a customer on hold for one minute, our phones begin beeping to remind us of the call. When my phone started beeping, I picked up the phone to tell him that Richard was still on the line, and ask him if he would like to continue holding. Before I could even ask him, he interupted me and told me he had a call and would call right back. I said OK and hung up the phone.
The very second that I hung up that phone, my boss started in on me. "How many times do I have to tell you that we always give them the option to continue holding? How many times have I told you that? We don't ever, ever, ever want out customers to think we are rushing them off of the phone. How many times do I have to tell you that? You didn't even ask him if he wanted to continue holding or if you could take a message?"
I interupted her to tell her what had actually happened, considering she wasn't on the damn phone! She was not impressed. "Well, you never do it anymore! You never give them the option to hold longer than one minute. You always say, 'He's still on another line' and then you just sit there. How many times do I have to tell you?"
Oh, no she didn't stop there. That's just where I quit listening and went back to doing my only other job. She went on and on for a good 3 minutes, I shit you not. Finally, when she either ran out of things to say, or got tired of listening to herself moo, she picked up a stack of tickets from her desk, THREW THEM against the wall behind her and YELLED, "I AM SO TIRED OF STUPID PEOPLE!!!"
Ummm. Yeah. That's not gonna work. I (calmly, somehow) simply got up, went out to my car and got my purse (I had a spare in there as I had changed out on my way to work that morning), went back inside and began cleaning out my drawers into my purse. The husband called to see if I had lunch plans. I told him I did not, nor did I have afternoon plans, nor tomorrow plans. He asked me what was wrong and I told him I was leaving at lunch and not returning. He said okay and told me I could give details at lunch. He then called right back and told me not to wait until lunch, to just leave right then. I explained to him, whispering all the while, that I wanted to wait it out as long as I could just for a few more dollars. I heard my boss tell her daughter, loud enough so that I could hear her, "She' s over there whipsering!" I hung up the phone, stood up, and walked out.
Oh, I should totally give you another example of how STUPID these people are. The day before this happened, I was sitting at my computer doing invoices. When I have this software open, I can see my boss, who sits behind me, in the reflection in my monitor. The two idiots were talking about a local business that is run by men, whom Trish and Glenda (the real names) do not like. I don't remember the exact content of the conversation, but I know Trish made the statement, "Well, it's not her fault. I too have had lapses in judgement when it comes to other people's characters." She said it in such a way that I just had to look at Glenda, only to see her pointing at me and laughing. HOW FREAKIN STUPID AND IMMATURE CAN YOU BE?
Now, don't get me wrong. I'm not asking for pity or "Ahh, cheer up. We like you." Believe me, after working with these two idiots for nearly three months, I can assure you I am completely thrilled that they do not like me. I have never, ever heard them say a positive or even remotely nice thing about anyone, even each other. I can't imagine the spineless, ass-kissing, unopinionated person I would have to be to get their votes.
So, here I go again. On the job hunt. I have filled out roughly fifteen application in the last week. I have gone on one interview. I had two scheduled yesterday, but ended up not going to either. I called and canceled one of them, realizing I didn't really want the job and would only be wasting my time interviewing. Something about the cloud of cigarette smoke I had to walk through to get to the manager's desk turned me off. About five minutes after I canceled the first one, the second one called me and rescheduled for Monday. MONDAY! I totally wanted to start Monday. But, turns out the lady doing the hiring was out with sick kids. I can totally relate to that one. I'm expecting to hear back from at least three people this week, hopefully at least one today. I'm going to the city tomorrow to take a test for another one. Have I ever mentioned I hate job hunting? Let it be known.