It was a warm, breezy summer day. I trembled with excitement as my "wedding march" began to play. I fumbled nervously with my bouquet and avoided eye contact as my dad led me down the aisle. I finally reached the groom and felt my eyes well with tears. The preacher began talking and I understood the words as though they were German. Suddenly I burst out laughing, and continued to giggle nervously as the preacher poured over our vows. Then my husband kissed me and our guests applauded. The rest is history.
Happy 3rd Anniversary, Husband.
Wednesday, September 10, 2008
Tuesday, September 9, 2008
Come the F**k Real
Another example, just in case the first one didn't do it for you...
I spent the morning typing and printing invoices and putting them in addressed envelopes. My co-worker Tanya* was standing near the mail basket when I took the envelopes over and put them in with a group that was already tied together with a rubberband. My co-worker informed me, "Oh, Linda* likes groups of 8 or 10" in her ever-so-cheerful-I-make-way-more-money-than-you voice. Fine. What. Ever. So she watches me remove most of the envelopes from the bunch and put a new rubberband around them, leaving two bundles of 8 to 10. Then she says "Ooops, keep the little ones in front so we don't lose them!" You've got to be kidding me. I grit my teeth and go to lunch, only to return to an e-mail with the following excerpt:
If you notice an unattractive ink smear on an envelope or invoice printed by your printer, you should reprint a better version.
Linda would much prefer to go ahead and toss that smeared envelope or invoice. She’s willing to accept a little waste to make sure the correspondence going to customers looks as professional as possible.
Are these people for real?!? Is this totally annoying or is it just me?!?
*Names have been changed out of pure paranoia.
I spent the morning typing and printing invoices and putting them in addressed envelopes. My co-worker Tanya* was standing near the mail basket when I took the envelopes over and put them in with a group that was already tied together with a rubberband. My co-worker informed me, "Oh, Linda* likes groups of 8 or 10" in her ever-so-cheerful-I-make-way-more-money-than-you voice. Fine. What. Ever. So she watches me remove most of the envelopes from the bunch and put a new rubberband around them, leaving two bundles of 8 to 10. Then she says "Ooops, keep the little ones in front so we don't lose them!" You've got to be kidding me. I grit my teeth and go to lunch, only to return to an e-mail with the following excerpt:
If you notice an unattractive ink smear on an envelope or invoice printed by your printer, you should reprint a better version.
Linda would much prefer to go ahead and toss that smeared envelope or invoice. She’s willing to accept a little waste to make sure the correspondence going to customers looks as professional as possible.
Are these people for real?!? Is this totally annoying or is it just me?!?
*Names have been changed out of pure paranoia.
Monday, September 8, 2008
A Perfect Example
...of why I hate my job and really, really dislike my boss.
While sitting in a very quiet office, squealing of tires can be heard from the main road that passes in front of our building. My boss let's out a three to four second sigh and growls, "I bet they're not buying those tires."
I thought about pointing out that neither is she.
While sitting in a very quiet office, squealing of tires can be heard from the main road that passes in front of our building. My boss let's out a three to four second sigh and growls, "I bet they're not buying those tires."
I thought about pointing out that neither is she.
Thursday, August 7, 2008
An Update
The Job: It still blows. I continue to be bored outta my mind. My boss continues to bitch about everything. I continue to want to punch her in the face.
The Husband: He has another infected hair folicle. He went back to the doctor yesterday and got another prescription for antibiotics. He is trying to let it get better without taking them though. So I am stealing them from him and taking them for my burns-when-I-pee-ness. You see, the sucky job doesn't offer health insurance and I'm not paying the sucky doctors to give me a sucky diagnosis and a prescription that I already have thanks to my husband's sucky hair folicles.
The Daughter: She turns two in one week. I struggle to wrap my mind around this. When she smiles that sweet smile and hugs my neck and pats my back and squeezes my cheeks I can't believe it's already been two years. And when she sucker-punches me between the eyes and kicks me in the throat I can't believe it's only been two years...
The Husband: He has another infected hair folicle. He went back to the doctor yesterday and got another prescription for antibiotics. He is trying to let it get better without taking them though. So I am stealing them from him and taking them for my burns-when-I-pee-ness. You see, the sucky job doesn't offer health insurance and I'm not paying the sucky doctors to give me a sucky diagnosis and a prescription that I already have thanks to my husband's sucky hair folicles.
The Daughter: She turns two in one week. I struggle to wrap my mind around this. When she smiles that sweet smile and hugs my neck and pats my back and squeezes my cheeks I can't believe it's already been two years. And when she sucker-punches me between the eyes and kicks me in the throat I can't believe it's only been two years...
Wednesday, July 23, 2008
Outlook...Okay
Three things I'm looking forward to:
1.) Payday. Granted, it'll only be about 2/3 the size of my last paycheck, but it'll be a paycheck. The first in nearly 5 months.
2.) My big brother is coming home! He lives in Ohio and only makes it home about 3 times a year. He always manages to make it home in August. And he'll be here for a week!
3.) The daughter's 2nd birthday! The husband and I have a huge party planned for her and I am soooo excited about it!
Three things I am not looking forward to:
1.) Another loooong week of work. These people have seriously got to give me something to do. I'm so tired of hearing people say, "It's so hectic around here!" or "We're sooo busy!" or "I've got so much to do I don't even know where to start!" Gimme a break.
2.) My big brother leaving to go back to Ohio. It breaks my heart every time! I wish he would just move back home already. Or that we could move to Ohio. Hmmm, there's an idea...
3.) The daughter's 2nd birthday! My. Baby. Is. Turning. Two.
1.) Payday. Granted, it'll only be about 2/3 the size of my last paycheck, but it'll be a paycheck. The first in nearly 5 months.
2.) My big brother is coming home! He lives in Ohio and only makes it home about 3 times a year. He always manages to make it home in August. And he'll be here for a week!
3.) The daughter's 2nd birthday! The husband and I have a huge party planned for her and I am soooo excited about it!
Three things I am not looking forward to:
1.) Another loooong week of work. These people have seriously got to give me something to do. I'm so tired of hearing people say, "It's so hectic around here!" or "We're sooo busy!" or "I've got so much to do I don't even know where to start!" Gimme a break.
2.) My big brother leaving to go back to Ohio. It breaks my heart every time! I wish he would just move back home already. Or that we could move to Ohio. Hmmm, there's an idea...
3.) The daughter's 2nd birthday! My. Baby. Is. Turning. Two.
Monday, July 14, 2008
The Big Day
I had my night-before-the-first-day-of-work routine planned out in my head for several days. Pick out clothes, accessories, and shoes, get the daughter's bag ready, set alarm clock, set coffee maker to have strong, hot coffee ready by 6 a.m., give Teagan a bath and get her in bed by 8:30, be in bed by 9:00, asleep by 10:00. Long story short, I crawled into bed at 11:30 p.m. without the faintest idea of what I would be wearing today.
I arrived at the office only to find that one of my bosses has a fat little dog named "Sugar" that accompanies her to the office every single day. I was surprised to find that the grayish silver rollie pollie with very few teeth and several bald spots had just turned four. I'd have guessed 24. I was thrilled to find that "Sugar" expected me to pet her and actually pretend to like dogs after each and every one of her fifteen trips outside each day. Can you say hand sanitizer?
Another long sotry short...I met three Richards, three Mikes, two Jimmys and a handful of people who go by their last names and as I tried to wake myself enough to stumble out the door at 5 o'clock, I was really wondering..."Hoooooly shit, when's payday???"
Kudos to me for not crying when the husband left to take the daughter to daycare, for not slapping the boss when she told me I "won't always be this bored" the thirty-seventh time, and for planning on going back tomorrow.
I arrived at the office only to find that one of my bosses has a fat little dog named "Sugar" that accompanies her to the office every single day. I was surprised to find that the grayish silver rollie pollie with very few teeth and several bald spots had just turned four. I'd have guessed 24. I was thrilled to find that "Sugar" expected me to pet her and actually pretend to like dogs after each and every one of her fifteen trips outside each day. Can you say hand sanitizer?
Another long sotry short...I met three Richards, three Mikes, two Jimmys and a handful of people who go by their last names and as I tried to wake myself enough to stumble out the door at 5 o'clock, I was really wondering..."Hoooooly shit, when's payday???"
Kudos to me for not crying when the husband left to take the daughter to daycare, for not slapping the boss when she told me I "won't always be this bored" the thirty-seventh time, and for planning on going back tomorrow.
Thursday, July 3, 2008
Meet The Husband
The husband does MMA (mixed martial arts). This past Saturday he participated in a grappling tournament. That afternoon he noticed a small bump on his right arm, near his arm pit. He showed it to me, mentioning that it itched and burned.
Sunday the bump was a little bigger and beginning to bother him, both itching and hurting. Sunday night his bicep was red and swollen.
Monday he went to the doctor. He was told he has a bacterial infection in a hair folicule. He got a shot and a prescription for antibiotics.
Tuesday he went back to the doctor for another shot.
Wednesday he went back to the doctor for another shot.
Today, we have this:
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Sunday the bump was a little bigger and beginning to bother him, both itching and hurting. Sunday night his bicep was red and swollen.
Monday he went to the doctor. He was told he has a bacterial infection in a hair folicule. He got a shot and a prescription for antibiotics.
Tuesday he went back to the doctor for another shot.
Wednesday he went back to the doctor for another shot.
Today, we have this:
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Tomorrow, we are going back to the doctor for, hopefully, yet hopefully not, some lancing. I can hardly wait to see what's inside that thing.
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